Throughout the sabbatical, I conducted many interviews, and I soon became quite an ace at it. Already, in Dallas, I began to refer to myself as the Barbara Walters of the liturgical circuit.

I had the unique opportunity to interview both the retired and recently-appointed Directors of Music at St. Michael’s, one day apart. It was fascinating to spend two hours with the retired Director, a lovely 69-year-old man who retired one year ago, after 38 years of service to St. Michael’s.

Toward the end of our time together I asked, “Paul, what advice do you have for a 41-year-old church musician?” He responded, “You don’t look 41; I thought you were about 35.” Bless his heart! More importantly, his words about keeping my integrity, and our subsequent mutual sharing from the heart, continue to create sparks in my soul.

The next day, I had an interesting interview with the new, 30-ish Director, focusing more on the present and future liturgical life at St. Michael’s — staffing, administration, growth. It was energizing to hear Jim Díaz speak passionately about being a church musician.  More spark.

On to Chicago

My primary mission here was to experience Willow Creek Community Church, 35 miles outside of downtown Chicago. This is a mega church, offering 7 services each week, attended by a total of about 26,000 people. Driving into the acres of parking lots is just like going to Disneyland. Services are held in an enormous theatre with massive windows looking out onto manicured gardens and ponds with happy birds frolicking about.

I admit to a really bad attitude about being there. Old wounds, related to dealing with fundamentalists, were opened wide.

At the Thursday night service I attended, during the opening 45 minutes of singing songs I found to be lacking in creativity, with the lyrics displayed on big screens on either side of the stage,

I lashed-out, in my mind and heart, at Ed Bacon, for even suggesting that I experience this place, and at myself, for putting myself in that situation. I kept breathing deeply, and I told myself how mature I needed to be about this, and that I surely had something to learn, especially about the administration of such a large institution.

Beauty surely eluded me at that moment.

One of the lessons I learned on sabbatical is that some of the things I had a bad attitude about, really became quite important. Such was the case with my interview with the Music Director of Willow Creek.

A true bond was formed between us as we discussed our struggles with balance in our lives of being an administrator and being a musician. I learned so much from his perspective. He has come up with wonderfully creative solutions to respond to the huge growth in that church.

And, I found the Saturday night service less painful. Still, on Sunday morning, it felt so good to be part of an Episcopal Eucharist, at St. James Cathedral.